It Isn’t “Small” Talk: How to Build Rapport with Customers and Team Members

In business and life, “small talk” is an essential skill that produces “big results.”

Mastering small talk is crucial for turning everyday interactions into deeper engagement and relationship-building opportunities.

As a socially awkward teenager (quite frankly, who wasn’t), mentors taught me that small talk is less about “talking” and more about demonstrating “a genuine interest in others.” Its purpose is to connect on a human level.

Here are a few lessons from those mentors, colleagues, professors, and family members about small talk and rapport building and how to apply them to your customers and team.

The Steps to Master Small Talk

1. Introduce Yourself and Ask for the Other Person’s Name. Start with the basics. A simple “Hello, I’m Joseph, and you are?” is a solid way to start. As you say your name, prepare to remember theirs. Using their name during the conversation fosters an engaged, respectful, and personal conversation.
2. Learn About Them: You know plenty about yourself. Your goal should be to take an authentic interest in their interests, experiences, and aspirations. Listen actively and ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share more about themselves.
3. Find a Mutually Favorite Subject: While engaging others about their interests is good, conversations become more dynamic and enjoyable when we discover shared interests. Whether it’s movies, books, hobbies, or sports, finding common ground can turn a simple chat into an engaging and memorable discussion.
4. Explore Beyond the Obvious: If initial attempts to find common ground don’t succeed, don’t give up. Delve deeper into other potential shared passions or experiences. This exploration is about finding commonalities and demonstrating genuine curiosity.
5. Enjoy the Process of Engaging: Remember, the goal of small talk isn’t about impressing others; instead, it should forge an authentic connection. Success comes from the process and from learning about others during rapport-building.

Actionable Takeaways for Leaders and Managers

• Encourage Open Communication: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing about themselves. This type of environment builds a connected and supportive team culture.
• Train on Active Listening: Equip your team with the skills to listen actively and empathetically. This listening ensures that interactions with colleagues or customers are meaningful and productive.
• Celebrate Diversity of Interests: Recognize and value your team’s interests and backgrounds. This diversity inspires more inclusive and engaging conversations.
• Create Opportunities for Interaction: Organize team activities or social events that encourage informal interactions. This helps uncover common interests and strengthens bonds among team members.
• Lead by Example: Show genuine interest in your team’s professional and personal growth. Regularly engage in “small talk” that goes beyond work-related topics to get to know your “people” as “people” – not as human resources.

Integrating these behaviors into your interactions and leadership approach will turn simple exchanges into lasting relationships.

Small talk is both a skill and a gateway to creating cultures of care and empathy. Isn’t it time we all doubled down on small talk?